5 Things You Know
by angellwings
Summary: ...and 1 you don't. Multifandom. A milestone project for my 350th story on FFN. A tribute to the top 5 fandoms I've loved before the one I'm most recently obsessed with. Including: Timeless, Camp Rock, Jonas, The Librarians, MMPR, High School Musical. Purely self indulgent, but hopefully someone likes it.
1. High School Musical

Brief Explainer - this is my 350th story on FFN and my 100th on Ao3. To commemorate that I wanted to pay tribute to all the fandoms I've loved before. ;) So I'm going to do 5 Things You Know and 1 You Don't for the 5 fandoms I've written the most for since first joining FFN and the 1 I've written for most recently (are catching a theme?)

Those fandoms are:

Camp Rock (144)

Jonas (60)

The Librarians (49 on Ao3)

Power Rangers (33)

High School Musical (19)

Timeless (14)

Here we go!

5 Things You Know

And 1 You Don't

By angellwings

 _5\. High School Musical_

 _Your Best Friend_

You know in Kindergarten that Chad Danforth is going to be your best friend. He walks in the door with his crazy curls and his Jordans and you think, finally my best friend is here. You don't know him. You've never spoken to him. But that doesn't matter. You can tell by the basketball on his shirt and the way he immediately pulls a matchbox car out of his pocket. You don't take time to think about whether or not he wants to be your friend too. You just know he will because, of course, he will. It's already meant to be. You march over, sit down down next to him, and pull out your own matchbox car.

His eyes consider you for a long moment and he studies your car. You feel a brief bit a nerves before he finally smiles and says, "I'm Chad."

"Troy," you respond with a grin.

"I've got a turkey sandwich, doritos, and a fruit cup for lunch. What do you have?" He asks as if your name is all he needs to know.

"Um, PB&J, strawberry yogurt, and carrot sticks," you say with a grimace. His lunch sounds way better than yours.

"I'll trade you my fruit cup for your yogurt," he says in a whisper as he leans across the table.

"Deal," you reply as you reach out and shake his hand.

You knew he'd be your best friend. You just knew it.

 _The Status Quo_

The first day of sixth grade is when you and Chad realize you're gonna need a lot more than cool shoes to stand out in middle school. The eighth graders are huge and they all stand around in little groups. They don't mingle around and try to make friends.

"Dude," Chad says with a sigh. "We are so not in elementary school anymore."

You spend the first week trying to figure out how it all works. Observing. You realize that on Fridays the jocks and the cheerleaders wear their jerseys or uniforms. People cheer as they walk through the halls, especially on game days. They're also the ones that are constantly surrounded by mobs of people.

"That's the place to be," Chad says as he nudges your elbow and motions to the lunch table that's home to the jocks and cheerleaders. "That's where we need to go," he tells you.

And you believe him, because in the nearly 7 years you've known him he's never steered you wrong. So you ask your dad to help you get ready for basketball tryouts. Community ball was getting boring anyway. Too easy, especially when you and Chad always end up on the same team. You know the basketball court is where you'll make your name. It's how people will know you. You don't question it because that's just how it's supposed to be.

 _Boredom_

By the end of your freshman year of high school you know what it's like to be bored. Junior Varsity Basketball was too easy and when one of the the Varsity players gets put on the injured list for the season, you're not surprised to be moved up. You warm the bench for a good part of the season and watch the crowds at the games. They love it, and you do too. But is it enough? Is this all you want out of your years at school? You don't want to give it up, but you know it's not fulfilling you the way it used to.

And it's not cause you're warming the bench. You expected that, paying your dues. Everyone has to. You expect the guys on the team to hide your clothes somewhere on school grounds, you expect to have to walk through the school in a towel to find them. You know you have to laugh because it's funny and it's their way of welcoming you to the team. But it doesn't make basketball any more exciting. If you thought being accepted on the team would keep from being bored then you know now you were wrong.

Another injury late in the season puts you out on the court, playing for your life. But you still feel like something is missing. Like you should be doing more. You go through the games, playing your best, but not really being present. You know you've practiced long and hard enough to be one of the best guys on the team, even if you're the youngest, and you know you stepped up as a Freshman to help power your team through a rocky season.

And when next years team includes Chad, you know how the vote for Captain will go. Because Chad is your best friend and thinks you have it all together. But he doesn't know what you know. He doesn't know you're missing something.

 _Her_

You kinda feel like your in Kindergarten again because the minute you see her on that stage, you know. She's nervous and hesitant, but you're not. Because you know you're meant to be on that stage with her. Somehow you just do. It feels easy and fun and natural and the thing you know you're missing is suddenly gone. Is it her? Is it the singing? Is it both? The more you sing, the more she comes out of her shell and the more you just _know_.

When she's gone and you're left standing alone, in the cold, you know it's not over. You know that her name seems oddly familiar. You've never met any other Gabriellas but you know this one and you know she's unique. You know you'll see her again. It's a foregone conclusion. A truth that's yet to happen.

You go back to school, without having plucked up the nerve to call her, only to find her there. You're surprised but not shocked because you knew. It wasn't over then and it's not over now. She gets you singing again and not just karaoke. She introduces you to new friends and new worlds and new passions. She teaches you lessons about yourself and, though, she may doubt. _You don't_. You're better together and always have been from that first moment on stage.

Gabriella Montez and Troy Bolton are written in the stars. You knew it from the moment you first heard the music.

 _Team is Family_

Graduation comes and goes and your friends seem nervous about parting ways once summer ends, but you're not. These people mean more to you then they realize and you won't let them go. You know them like you know yourself. They won't let you go either.

So it's no surprise to you when Kelsi flies to California to see you in your first college production with Ryan in tow. No surprise to you when Chad shows up at one of your games, despite being your new rival. No surprise that Gabriella drags you to New York to eat at a restaurant you've never heard of because Zeke is interning there. No surprise to you to see Sharpay at the table next to yours.

 _What team? Wildcats._ Repeats in your head as you go through life because these people aren't just your team. They're your family. You support each other no matter how old you are. That's never more true than when you stand up next to Chad at his wedding and watch him manage to snag Taylor McKessie, future lawyer/senator/president/ceo, as his wife. This is your family and you know they'll never be a day where they won't be there.

 _One Thing You Don't Know_

Almost six months after your wedding you notice Gabriella acting strangely. She's exhausted all the time, eating more food than he's ever seen her eat, and having sporadic moments of nausea. She's as thrown by it as you are but declares it's probably just a bug. She calls you before you head into rehearsals and says she's going to the doctor. You don't think much of it. It's just a bug, after all.

But when you get home after a long day of rehearsals you find the lights dimmed and candles burning. You briefly think you've forgotten something important before thinking through all the things that could prompt a candlelight dinner and realizing there's nothing for you to forget.

Gabriella smiles as you come into the small dining area of your 2 bedroom apartment and your stress melts away. What were you worried about? You'd never forget anything about your milestones with Gabriella. You couldn't if you tried.

During dinner she declines wine, which you don't understand because you went out of your way to get her favorite wine during your last shopping trip. She shrugs and says her stomach is still acting up so it's probably best to not test her limits. You agree that you'd rather have her healthy and happy than drunk and she laughs at you and rolls her eyes. Dinner ends and she pulls you over to the couch. I've gotten us a movie to watch, she says with a secretive smile. She turns on the TV and presses play and your breath catches in your throat.

You don't really know what's on the screen, it's black and white and tiny, but you know that sounds. That's a heartbeat. Gabriella places a photograph in your hands. When you look down you realize it's a sonogram that says "Baby Bolton" across the top and you realize one thing you didn't know as you kiss her deeply.

You didn't know you could be this happy.


	2. MMPR

4\. Power Rangers

* * *

 _Gymnastics_

You know the minute you see it. The summer Olympics are on in your living room and you watch her float over the beam like it's nothing and you know. That's what you're meant to do and who you're meant to be. You beg your mom to sign you up and after enough begging you're trying on your first leotard and purposefully falling into huge pits of foam. You're twirling and cartwheeling and spinning so much that your feet are never on the ground. You love it. You love it like nothing else and you know this is who you are.

You're the girl on the balance beam floating like it's nothing.

* * *

 _You're Wrong_

You know you don't like them. You're in fourth grade and the teacher assigned you a group project. She separated you from Billy, your best friend, and placed you in a group with three kids who have never been in your class before. Two of them are quiet. One of them is bossy and the other is just too loud. The loud one also won't sit still. He keeps jumping or hopping. The quietest one, the only other girl, never talks. The bossy one keeps giving orders without asking what they think. So, you know you don't like them. You have to build a diorama and you'll have to meet outside of class. You can only use recycled materials. That first day none of you agree on anything.

So you have them over. Or your mom does without telling you. You expect it to be horrible. Because you know you don't like them. But then Trini shows up early and you find her talking to bill through the hole in your backyard fence. He's telling her about Star Trek and she's smiling and replying like she knows what Star Trek is. Billy is beaming at her. Billy has a hard time making friends other you, so you think maybe you're wrong about Trini. When you join them Trini tells you she brought a box of things you might could use for the project but then she hands you something else. It's a beautiful pink paper lantern. She tells you her mother says never visit a new friend empty handed, whatever that means. You decide that you are definitely wrong, but just about Trini. Only Trini.

Until Zack shows up and he freaks over the balance beam your dad built in your backyard. It's close to the ground because it's merely a practice beam but Zack doesn't care, he still thinks it's cool. He climbs on top and proceeds to do flips off of it or over it. This is something you can do too, but then he does a handstand across the beam and you find yourself impressed. He waves you over and teaches you how. You think you're wrong about Zack too.

Jason is the last to arrive and you don't expect much from him. You were wrong about Trini and Zack, you can't be wrong about him too. Jason sees Billy peeking through the fence as he chats with Trini and then opens the gate between your backyard and Billy's. You and Trini and Zack were a bit too short to open the fence, but Jason was taller and opened it easily. Billy scrambled over with a grateful smile. Jason then showed them the box he'd brought with him with all the ideas they'd discussed in class. It would be fair to draw for their theme. That way they don't have to argue about it.

You can't believe you didn't think of that. You see now that Jason wasn't being bossy in class, he was planning how to best work like a group. He was serious and quiet but you think that's not a bad thing. You decide he must really be paying attention and not trying to avoid talking to you.

Now you know, you were wrong about all of them. But, you think, this time that's a good thing.

* * *

 _Ernie's_

It's the first day of sixth grade when the group of you finally work up the courage to wander into Ernie's. It's full of middle school and high school kids and you immediately feel out of place. But Jason bumps your shoulder and motions to an empty table across from the bar. The five of you sit and look around. In that moment, you remember feeling _right_. That's when you know that this place belongs to you and your friends. It's _your_ place. It will always be _your_ place.

You're right, it quickly becomes your place and that table becomes your table. Your friends become your family and it feels strangely like none of that would have happened without Ernie's Juice Bar.

* * *

 _How to Fight_

It's not the spandex and it's not the enhanced abilities or the huge building sized robots that fight your battles. No, it's you. You and your best friends. No one has to teach you, you just know. You know your planet is worth saving, that Rita can't win, and you _know_ how to fight. It's a huge responsibility but you know how to handle it. It may not always go smoothly but you know this fight is for you. This fight is for all five of you. _Together._ You know you'll win, though you don't know then how long it will take to win or how much it will take out of you. You simply know that you will do it. Good will win the day and you know this because you and your friends are the good. You fight for good.

And good knows how without being told.

* * *

 _First Love_

You know it'll end up being him the minute you see him. He's mysterious and handsome and just dark enough to seem like a risk. You've never been in love before, but you know he'll be your first. Even his name seems to fit the tall, dark, and handsome fantasy you've had your whole life. _Tommy._ You imagine he's the Johnny Castle to your Baby and you know you're right. Even when it seems hopeless, when he's distant and fighting against you, you know he's your first love because you feel it even then. The pull of him, the mysterious magnet like draw of his eyes to yours. He's heaven and sin and you can't stop it from happening. He's inevitable.

* * *

 _One Thing You Don't Know_

You don't know that years later, when the pink spandex is gone and your dreams of gold medals have come true that the person standing next to you isn't going to be Johnny Castle. It's going to be the boy you thought was quiet and bossy. The boy who walked into Ernie's with you on that first day and felt the pull of home. The boy who stood at your side, not in front of you, for so many battles, both in spandex and out. The boy who crossed the country to check on you after finding out you'd broken up with your Johnny. Not to shame you for doing it through a letter or seek a reason why, like some others had. No, he came to see if you were okay. To see how you were handling it.

The boy who spent his life trying to save the world anyway he could, be it through peace or through combat. The boy who thought you were a prissy stuck up brat when you were put together for that fourth grade group project but changed his mind when he saw how concerned you were for a mousy little boy with glasses and overalls.

You don't know that while you're mooning over Johnny Castle, the boy in red is pining for you. You won't know it till years later when he travels all the way to Europe to sit in the stands and cheer you on while a gold medal is placed around your neck. You won't know it until you spot him in the crowd and notice how his eyes shine just a little brighter only when he looks at you.


	3. The Librarians

3\. The Librarians

* * *

 _What Home Isn't_

The first time your old enough to remember moving, you hate it. That feeling doesn't stop at any age. You know that a home isn't found be constantly traveling to world. Being unsettles does not make you feel at home. You've never felt at home traveling from base to base. But not feeling at home is all you actually do know so you keep doing it. You hate it and you know it's not home but you do it anyway. You're good at the job so you assume you've got to sacrifice "home" to get it. You make it work, usually. Your unit becomes your family until they move on to other units, other teams. Everyone's always leaving you behind.

And you know that's what home Isn't.

* * *

 _What Home Is_

You know home the first time you go out into the world with him side by side. Despite how much he seemed to disapprove of you initially, you work well together. Inexplicable when you consider he was yelling at you just a few hours before. But he acknowledges your work that you think no one else noticed, he acknowledges that the two of you are more like than he first thought. He believes you can do what you were recruited to do. He believes that you are meant to be right where you currently are. You know he's home because it hurts. It hurts when he's gone, it hurts when you don't know if he's safe, it hurts when you can't protect him.

You also know it's home because as dangerous as it is, it's comfortable. You feel like you are uniquely qualified to do what you're hired to do. Like no one else can work with him quite like you can. You know it's home even more than before when you become attached to the other three Librarians as well. When you start hurt when they do. When you start to wish that they'd been given more before you met them.

When you will yourself to stand back and let Stone handle his past, when you watch Cassandra run head first into an unknown alternate dimension, when every fiber of your being burns as Ezekiel fails to make that jump to the save point. Each time you almost lose them, your concept of home is reinforced. Now if you could only get these people in the same place at the same time. Maybe you could all have a bit of peace.

Maybe they'd find home just like you.

* * *

 _Flynn Leaves_

You know he leaves. You know it's coming. Every year, he's there, here's growing, he's maturing...until he's not. Until he's convinced himself that dealing with something alone is the right thing to do. He leaves because he thinks he's protecting you. He leaves because he doesn't think you need to share his burden. But what he doesn't know is that he's not protecting you. He's hurting you. All you want is to share his burden. To have him trust you and consult you. Treat you like the equal you know you should be.

You want him home with you and you want the full partnership you were promised.

You just want _him_.

But you know, he leaves. He always leaves.

* * *

 _Your Kids Come Back_

Yes, you know they're not really your kids. Two of them are too old to be your kids and you don't want to think about how young the last one really is. But they feel like your kids. You push them to grow and to learn. You push them to do both those things together. You want them to be self sufficient and yet simultaneously relient on you. You want them to be happy, even if you don't agree with them. You want what's best for them, even if they don't agree with you.

They fight, they argue, they believe different things. They split up, they work alone, but ultimately…

They always come back to you. They always come back to each other.

* * *

 _You Can Take the Weight_

You face the world ending so often that you know you can take the brunt of the hit. You can take the pain if it means keeping others safe. You can hold the damn door while everyone else escapes. You can stand on your own, without Flynn, and you can win. If you have to, you can handle the sacrifices alone.

You're a soldier who's used to a unit but you're also a warrior who never backs down.

Let him leave all he wants. He's really only punishing himself. One of these times you may not take him back. And, you know, you think that would be okay.

Because if you have to, you can carry the whole damn Library on your back and your back alone. It's your home and it belongs to you and you belong to it. You can take the weight of the world. You have your own set of perfectly strong shoulders for exactly that reason.

* * *

 _One Thing You Don't Know_

You don't know that your kids would take on the weight of the world for you. They would give up their lives to see that you have one of your own. They would turn their back on their mentor for the woman who never lets them down. They would offer you their strength.

They would give it all up for you because the world has four Librarians but it only has one Guardian. You're a precious commodity to them for your generous spirit and quiet strength and your belief in all they can be. You are the reason they stay and the reason they always come back. You make The Library their home.

 _You are their home_. It will take you longer than you care to admit to realize the only home you need is the one you make for yourself. The home where you love and are loved in return. The home you've made with your Librarians-No-Longer-In-Training.


	4. Jonas

2\. Jonas

* * *

 _Macy Cannot Sing_

You learned this the hard way. You learned this because you lied to her and told her she could. You learned lying to Macy is never the solution. You also learned you hate to see her upset and you feel a pang in your chest every time you see her happy. You learned she smells like a tropical paradise. You learned that the only time she's not fainting over you is when she's mad at you and you hope that will change. Because she's funny and brilliant and her smile is the prettiest smile you've ever seen.

* * *

 _Macy Never Gives Up_

You suppose it's because she's an athlete. That must be what makes her so persistent. She fights through her fangirl fits, she learns to breathe around them, she learns to be herself. She fights through the fantasy of your celebrity until you're simply Kevin and not Kevin of Jonas. And until she's merely Macy and not Super Fan Macy. She had plenty of opportunities to give in and resign herself to admiring them from a distance but she didn't.

You know she never gives up because now when she looks at you her eyes don't glaze over. They look engaged and spirited and sometimes even exasperated. You've come to love that look more than others because Superfan Macy would never have been exasperated with you. It was new and novel and it showed you she was finally seeing you for _you_.

* * *

 _Macy Is A Genius_

As the years go by Macy pulls you out of scrapes and messes you didn't think you'd be able to escape. She's good at the slight of hand and she puts out fires with merely a glance. You're impressed with her enough as it is when she gets a full ride to the college of her choice for any number of sports, but when she chooses a double major and then graduates early you find yourself not believing she actually exists. You never tell her how she impresses you because she caught up in your younger brother and you can't really blame her. He's a bit broody and writes love songs at the drop of a dime.

But you sit back and watch her flourish. You watch her come to work for Team Jonas. You watch her run your press like it's what she was born to do. You fall more in love with her every day even though you know it's hopeless.

* * *

 _Macy Needs Sports_

You're shocked when she gives up athletics after she graduates. She doesn't joint any local leagues or teams. She never goes golfing. She merely runs. Every morning in the gym at their family's talent management company. You know she misses it, you can see it in her eyes. When you ask her why she gives you some bullshit answer about growing up. Not long after she comes to work at Jonas productions you find a tabloid paper in her trash can and suddenly you know why. She'd played in the annual Jonas charity baseball game that weekend and someone at this tabloid rag decided to compare her to Nick's previous girlfriends. They were actresses and supermodels and beauty queens. All tall, lithe, and thin.

But you preferred Macy's short and muscular athletic build. She was beautiful and unique. Her body was toned and she moved so gracefully. You did not want her to lose that. You decided to fix this yourself. You challenged Macy to a game of one on one. You knew your dad had put a hoop out back for Frankie and you knew she was too competitive to refuse. You also knew you would lose horribly.

And you did, every day for years. But it didn't matter because Macy had her sports back in her life. Macy had a piece of herself back. You'd willingly sacrifice every bit of your manly pride for that.

* * *

 _Your Heart Breaks With Hers_

Macy and Nick break up in the first year Macy comes to work with them. It's not particularly messy. You don't remember any yelling or harsh feelings being put out in the open. It was a quiet break up. And though Macy seemed fine you could tell there was more to the story. When you show up at her apartment and it takes her several minutes to answer the door, you know exactly what she's doing. Cleaning up.

She answers the door and you can tell she's tried to wipe her face, to rid herself of any evidence of tears, and maybe on someone else it would have worked. But you could see the dull lines of grey on her cheeks where her mascara had run and you could see that her smile didn't meet her eyes. She asked you what you were visiting for as she didn't already know and you could feel your chest aching.

You don't have to be okay with this, Mace. You hear yourself saying to her as you stand in her open doorway. It's okay to be sad when something ends, you tell her. You think she's frozen because she goes very still and stares at him for a long moment. But then she gulps and looks down at the floor. Her hands come to her face and you see her shoulders start to shake and you know it's happening. You hurriedly step inside and close her front door behind you before you take her in your arms and hold her tightly.

There's a crack in your heart for every sob.

* * *

 _One Thing You Don't Know_

You don't know, that all those years before Nick she was simply waiting for you. When you didn't seem to be interested and he was she took the leap. You don't know, that she's still holding out for you and that Nick knew it. You don't know that after she heals and some time passes she'll show up at your door much the way you did hers and bear her soul to you. All the times she looked at you while you looked away. All the times she almost kissed you. All the times she wanted it to be you instead of Nick. She confesses with deep shuddering breaths and you don't know that eventually that moment will be yours. You don't know that she's your future, your present, and your past. You don't know that now.

But you will.


	5. Camp Rock

_1\. Camp Rock_

* * *

 _Ella Loves Dinosaurs_

You're not sure what to do with this information but you file it away anyway. The stationary in the wardrobe cabin is littered with them and while briefly visiting her cabin you spot a plush triceratops on her bunk. She is crazy about dinosaurs. You know the information could be useful but you don't know when. Not until Jason starts rambling about the new exhibits at the zoo that's a half hour drive from Camp and you realize he's said the word "dinosaurs" about five times. He tells you about an exhibit called 'living legends' that has animatronic dinosaurs that look real and a lightbulb goes off in your head.

You take her that weekend. She gasps and squeals as she places her hand on an animatronic triceratops as it breathes in and out. She lets you take her hand as you walk through the rest of the exhibits and then hand holding evolves after a while and you're walking with your hands around each other's waists. She places her head on your shoulder as you walk and you think how glad you are to know she loves dinosaurs.

* * *

 _Ella Loves Sparkles_

You'd have to be blind not to know that Ella loves glitter and sequins and rhinestones and crystals. You know she loves sparkle and to you that just makes sense because her eyes sparkle constantly and her smile makes you see stars. She shimmers and shines and she doesn't even know it. She's like a comet blazing through the night. She burns fast and bright. She lives fast and she showers affection on those she cares about.

It's why you call her "Sparkles."

It fits her. There's no need to explain it once you do it. You both know. The first time you say she's getting ready for a Jam and she's just put glitter powder over her face to give her an ethereal sheen and you can't stop staring. She loves it so much that she turns and presses her lips to yours. It starts as a quick innocent kiss and you feel her start to pull away. Her posture was stiff as if she didn't think through her actions but you don't care. It's the first time you've kissed and you realize now that you're going to have a hard time ever letting her go. You don't let her pull away and you tug her back toward you, this time you kiss her. You kiss her slowly as if trying to really feel the moment. You want to memorize her lips and the feeling of having her pressed against you because it's everything you've wanted for so long.

Finally, you pull away because somewhere in the back of your mind you remember she has to be on stage soon. When you pull back she giggles as he eyes take in your face and then she winks playfully at you.

You're covered in glitter, she says.

"Maybe I should start calling _you_ sparkles," she tells him before she suddenly turns saunters toward the stage.

* * *

 _Ella Loves Fashion_

You know she's talented. You know she loves fashion. You know you can use that to cure a bad day. Her father had ditched her again. He'd made plans and then bailed at the last minute. She called you and tried to act as though she were fine but you could hear the hurt in her voice. No one should make Ella sound like that. She was bright and bubbly and you're complete opposite. So, you tell her you're coming over, get in your car, and then knock loudly on her door. Her mother answers and you apologize for the obnoxious knock but ask if Ella is home.

Her mother already doesn't like you. She understandably has grudges against rockstars, considering her deadbeat ex husband was one. She calls Ella downstairs and Ella runs to you. She slams you with a hug and places a quick kiss to your lips. You knew then it was the right choice to come over. She needed you whether she admitted it or not.

You take her hand, lacing your fingers through hers, and beckon her out the door.

"Nate, where are we going?" She asks as she shuts the door behind her.

"You sent me an email about a fabric sale at one of those craft stores, right?" You ask, remembering you'd initially begged off of accompanying her. She replied with a suspicious yes and then he continued. "Well, if it's on sale don't you think you would stock up? You've got have something to make your designs with."

You can't believe the words are coming from your lips because you hate shopping but Ella loves it. If you can distract her from her shitty dad then you're more than willing to push the shopping cart while she fills it full of fabric.

She's kissing you before you can even open the car door and smiling against your lips as one kiss becomes two and then three.

* * *

 _Ella Loves_ _Kissing_

This is one of your favorite things you know about her. She loves kissing. Forehead kisses, temple kisses, cheek kisses. She especially loves it when you kiss the back of her hand. You've never been very touchy feely but you are with her. You go out of your way to touch or kiss her in any number of casual ways because it makes her smile or sigh in contentment and that is what you live for.

But there's also the feeling you get when she does the same for you. You didn't expect to value her small casual touches as much as you do. She kisses your neck while you hug her, she kisses the tip of your nose or the edge of your jaw and once, while you ran your hand over her cheek she kissed the palm of your hand. Each gesture screamed intimacy and you never knew you wanted that so much.

* * *

 _You Love Ella_

You see her walking toward you in the sunset with the lake behind her and it hits you like a ton of bricks. You love her. You know her completely. You love her for always. You've loved her a very long time now only you've never put the feeling to words before. She's everything you never expected to want and you know you'll never want anything or anyone else as much as you want her.

Before you can stop yourself you're saying it in a rush. You're barely sure it was discernible english but she understands. She knows immediately what you've said and her face lights up and her eyes water and you think you've never seen anyone so beautiful.

She says the words you've been waiting to her in a steady voice as if she's never been more sure of anything in her life and relief floods you. It's a love like you never dreamed and you're so glad it's yours.

* * *

 _One Thing You Don't Know_

You don't know that Ella's been keeping her own list of everything you love and you won't until your wedding reception when she reads it outloud to all your guests while you silently die of embarrassment. _He loves music, he loves aliens, he loves diet coke, he loves kissing, and he loves me._ She was right on all counts. You love all of those things, but most of all you love her.


	6. Timeless

_And 1 Recent Obsession: Timeless_

* * *

 _Your Mother_

You know her. You've listened to her stories and studied in her office and sat in on her classes. You've watched her love your father as if she might lose him at any moment. You've seen her lecture you about responsibility and felt her hold you when you cry. She's the voice in your head talking you through all your choices with reassuring logic. All your life she's told you bedtime stories. Not stories of princesses and knights and dragons and wizards but stories of inventors and revolutionaries and traitors.

She gave you your first book on Lincoln. You still have it. She inscribed a dedication in the front of it. You still read it with a watery smile. She initially encouraged your love of music, seeing it as your attempt at being well rounded. You've seen her beam with pride at your first voice recital. But you've also seen her glowering at you with disappointment when your sister lets the news of your first paying gig slip out unintentionally.

You argue and it's the worst fight you've ever had with anyone. Let alone your mother. You go back to your dorm that night because the intensity of her disappointment is suffocating. But you don't stop. Amy tells you not to. Do something for yourself, she tells you. So you do and you love it. You want to do it all the time. There's so much pressure on you to be as good as your mother. To live up to her in the academic world, but music had none of that. It was yours and you almost take it on full time until your car goes careening into the water and you almost die. Your mother picks you up at the hospital and she's crying and hugging you and kissing your forehead and you remember why you love her. You think being like her wouldn't be so bad. You think history is safe and comforting and you remember your bedtime stories.

You know your mother. You love her World. You follow her lead.

* * *

 _History_

You know history better than you know your own life story. You know it backwards and forwards and in several different languages, except German. You never learned German. You know the people, their stories, the context of their lives. You accept their mistakes and their flaws and you admire their accomplishments. History can be amazing but it can be equal parts horrible. Less enlightened people in less enlightened times caused pain that the world is still recovering from. In some cases, it will never recover.

But it's solid, it's factual. It doesn't change because it's already happened.

It's safe. You make it your domain because it's constant and unchanging and you need more of that than you realize at the time. History will never be disappointed in you. History will never argue with you over which college staff you should join. History will tell you of your family legacy but history will never rest it all on your shoulders.

History will never leave you because history can't die. History is forever in a way that human lives never will be. History remembers your loved ones, like your mom who managed to raise you and your sister all on her own after your father passed. Who earned acclaim for her peers and yet still showed up to every school even looking perfectly polished. Who now looks so little like her old self that you want to curl up in bed next to her and sob. Instead you sit by her bed and read her bedtime stories, not unlike the ones she used to read to you.

You know history and you need history. It keeps you grounded in a world gone crazy. It can't be diagnosed with a fatal illness and then leave you alone to take care of everyone. History can't change.

Until suddenly it can and then history depends on you too.

* * *

 _Your Sister_

There are several years between you and Amy and her relationship with your mother is vastly different from yours. Is lighter, sweeter, and effortless. But you never blame her for that because Amy is everything to you. She is your confidante, your cheerleader, your adviser. She drags you out when all you want to do is stay home and she pushes you to do what makes you happy. When your mother starts to feel her sickness worse than ever before, it's Amy who comforts you when you cry yourself to sleep.

She never lets you shut down and she never leaves your side. You couldn't have asked for a better sibling and you know you're blessed. Your friends didn't have a bond with their siblings like the one you have with Amy. They didn't stay up until all hours talking and playing card games with their much younger siblings the way you did. You know her moods and her expressions and her wild streak that you hope she never grows out of.

She's everything you're not and everything you want to be. You know that in most situations it's the younger sibling that looks up to the older, but not in your case. You admire Amy for her free spirit, her self confidence, and courage to be aimless.

If you're mother is the reasonable voice inside your head then Amy is your impulsive one.

Your heart breaks when you realize she's gone. Even having your mother back doesn't ease the sound of everything in you shattering to the floor. She was the best of your family. She was the one that would live her life better than any of them would ever dare.

But now she had no life to live.

* * *

 _Rufus_

You don't know Rufus at first. You like him. You hate to send him outside to wait on that first jump. But you don't know him then. You get to know him as you're forced into precarious situations. You learn about him literally on the go. His knowledge impresses you. His bravery impresses you. His willingness to protect people and the air of honor that surrounds him floors you. He's not a soldier like Wyatt and he doesn't love history like you. But he loves people and the idea of heroes and innovation.

You marvel at the sheer amount of brains he must have in his head to be a part of a team that invented a time machine. You love that the main reason he wanted to be a part of it was just to see if it could be done. That's the kind of daring that you've never had.

You've never had a brother but you think, if you did, you'd want him to be Rufus. Even if you don't understand some of his references or why he seems incapable of talking to Jiya face to face it doesn't matter. Because you find him endearing. You want him to be happy and successful and always carry around that hope you find in him. That persistence. The love of his friends that keeps him going.

So, maybe you didn't know him then, but you know him now. And that's all that matters.

* * *

 _Wyatt_

The first time you meet him, you _think_ you know him. You think you know that he's a cocky soldier boy who punches first and asks questions later and is going to be a pain in your ass while you try and maintain history. You think that's all he'll ever be. You don't expect too much. Especially when he sees Kate Drummond and seems fall all over himself for a pretty face.

But then you find out why. You listen as he talks about Jessica and suddenly you realize you don't know anything at all. Nothing you thought seems to make sense anymore. It's only then that you actually start to know him.

He drives you crazy pestering you about Lincoln but you he makes you think and challenges you and pretty soon you find yourself calling out to save the President despite yourself. Despite your mother's cool logical voice urging you to sit quietly and let it happen. Not only that but you're impressed at how he powers through being shot. You could never do that. When he takes your hand after it's all over to offer support you realize you want to know more. You're different people but something about him screams at you. You need to know more.

But as soon as you make that decision he's frustrating you again. He's not letting you do your job. The one thing you actually manage to contribute to this team and he won't let you do it. You think you don't blame Judith for hitting him in the head with the damn phone until you see him sending that telegram. Until you hear his words and you realize, he's well and truly broken. You are too, you know, the accident did that long before you found out time travel was real and lost your sister. Which probably only added to how broken you are. But in the face of that your frustration fades away. You know what drives him, what forces him to make you crazy. His guilt. His love for the woman he lost. You see it in his face and you now know something else about him.

Every jump you learn something. Every jump he learns something about you. Not something you always want to share either. You told him how you chickened out of having a music career and you realize aside from your band, Amy, and your mom you'd never told anyone that story. He tells you about his Grandfather and you feel a swell of a affection at the image of a boy who idolizes his grandfather so much that he grows up to fight for his memory. He helps you figure out what you're fighting for. He gets you through.

It continues like that. You go on learning and he goes on helping. One time, you get to help him and you now know what fear looks like on his beautiful face. You yell at him in your panic because his fear is your fear but you know you can't do this without him. You need him, and you dare to think that maybe he needs you. Because your yelling breaks through and his blue eyes meet yours as if he's leaning all his weight on you. You know he isn't. Not physically at least. You feel the weight of his emotions though and you take them in. You'd gladly take his fear. You know that now too.

You come to blows one time and you almost lose the trust you've built but you get it back. You learn that Wyatt doesn't judge. You learn that you can tell him your fears and he won't change his opinion of you because of them. You doubt what that journal means you'll become but he doesn't. He looks at you with a faith you've never known. Your decisions are yours for what feels like the first time in your life and you only believe it because he said it. You're not sure what that means.

You come to know so many other things about Wyatt. You know his kiss, you know his embrace, you know the sound of relief in his voice when you briefly lose each other.

You know he can put a crack in your heart with just one sentence. He risks everything. He risks the team, he risks Rufus, he risks you and he tells you it all be worth it to have Jessica back. You realize then you don't mean to him what he means to you. Even if you're not really sure what that is. You realize if he succeeds it's possible you won't even know him. You'll lose him and the worst part is you won't even get to keep the things you know about him. The things you've learned. It hits you like a tidal wave and spins you around and fills your lungs till your throat burns as if you swallowed gallons upon gallons of saltwater.

He asks if you're okay and you realize you've shown your hand. You may not remember him when this is all over but you will not let the last thing he remembers of _you_ be the girl in her pajamas weeping on the stairs. You stand and dedicate yourself to the task at him. You know him and you know he needs you. So you help even though it kills you.

His plan fails. He looks so devastated that you wish you could hold him. You wish you could follow him to whatever prison they're taking him to just to hold him. But you can't and so you don't. The time in between when he's pulled away from you and when you see him again seems to tick torturously by. You make it through. You make it through because as much as you're fighting for Amy, you also realize that now you're fighting for him. Because he's your guy. Trying to do this without him got someone killed. You won't do it again.

Afterward he's there, free. You know when he steps into the light that he feels so much remorse and pain. That he thinks he's let you and Rufus down. You know this because you know him. Finally, you can hold him. You hear yourself say, "You're okay." and you are unsure if that's for your sake or his. Are comforting yourself because he's there next to you? Or are you comforting him because you know that the only way he could ever let you down is if the day came that he left and never came back?

Your team takes on the world and time and somehow you live to tell the tale. Things are good and finally you think you're on your way to getting Amy back. But the best part about all of it, is that you're on your way to getting Amy back with Wyatt by your side. You know you don't mean to him what he means to you but you can hope. You can enjoy what he's able to give. You can enjoy his smirks and his eyes and the way he places his hand on your back or your neck while he holds as if you might someday slip away.

But then he surprises you and you feel a flutter that's new and strange when he smiles softly and tells you he's not ready to say goodbye. You're not done knowing Wyatt Logan. The things you've learned won't fade away. You know that and you know him. You think that nothing can bring you down because you've got Wyatt and soon you'll have Amy.

You're wrong.

* * *

 _One Thing You Don't Know_

Your mother is talking but she's saying words she shouldn't know. She's spilling secrets that shouldn't be hers and you realize, this person is not your mother. This person is not the mother that raised you. You remember that you came back to an alternate timeline and you finally see that you came back to an alternate mother. From that point forward she is not your mother. You refer to her as only Carol Preston. Because your mother was not this person.

Your mother would never have been active in Rittenhouse.

But Carol would be.

Carol who'd never once understood any decision you'd made since you moved back home. Carol who wanted you to marry Noah despite your own personal happiness. Carol who'd tried to selfishly convince you to come back to the University by telling you people were talking behind her back. The little moments and digs and the disagreements scream at you through the noise in your head.

You don't know this woman. You don't know Carol Preston.

So, you'll fight her. You'll find Wyatt and Rufus and you'll fight her together.

And now you're fighting to get two people back: your sister _and_ your mother. Because this woman is not your mother. She never will be.


End file.
